You need Gods counsel as he’s the one that can see the end from the beginning. The brother or sister you see today, do you know his/her tomorrow? If what a man is today is what he will always be, then we won’t have any problem as what you currently see is what you will always get but it’s not so. Why we are seeking proper guidance before picking a brother or sister is because marriage for us is not in the now but in the future. Marriage is different from pulpit. A brother for example may be speaking in tongues, power preacher or chorister but there is a catch. When a man comes to the pulpit to sing or preach, he becomes another man. It may not be because of him but the prayers of the congregation who have been praying; God speak to us and God wants to speak and even if he finds a goat, God will speak. The point is you don’t marry anointing, you marry a man. If what you saw on stage or on the pulpit is what made you say yes to a brother, you have missed it. It means you are marrying performance. There is the case of a brother who was a strong Christian and teacher in his campus fellowship days. His friend from campus, a preacher visited him after some years and the now married brothers’ wife confessed that her husband the brother beats her a lot. The preacher found it strange as back then in their campus fellowship days this brother was a gentle man and quiet. The gentility you see in a man when he’s not married is untested gentility.. The problem is choice and principles of Christian marriage. If the foundation be shaken what can the righteous. The choice is a bridge between where you are now and your future.
It is amazing that according to the gospel of john, Jesus first miracle to restore and renew was at a marriage at cana when he turned water to wine. The wine had finished and there was confusion and Jesus stepped in at the request of Mary and he performed the miracle. Permit us to look at the reaction of the ruler of the feast after the miracle: “when the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and knew not whence it was (but the servants which drew the water knew), the governor of the feast called the bridegroom and saith unto him, every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse; but thou kept the good wine till now”John 2:9-10
Every man at the beginning…
Most marriages in shambles today didn’t begin that way. The man and the woman may have been showering themselves with love and care at the beginning. Planning weddings and engagement and superb promises and all but after some time issues arise and the love fades and challenges come. Every man… there is no exception. Only men who are linked with Jesus, the source of life and joy can still have fresh wine long after their beginnings. Every man tries his best at the beginning; Good wine is set forth while watery wine is kept for other days .
When men are well drunk…
This is the nature of humans. Most started their marriage with intoxication. Both men and women are experts in setting forth good wine at the beginning by putting forth their best behaviors while the relationship last until they are both well drunk.
Then what which is worse…
When the good wine is finished, and then set forth that which is worse. This is what every man does except there is divine input from the lord Jesus. This is why homes that began with great hope suddenly collapse. The complex thing is men and women are unpredictable. Some would have loved to set forth good wine still but it has finished. I Must Say unto you only Christ can keep the supply of divine freshness in any relationship.
In Gods mind, he is creating something in you that can meet the need of something in that brother or sisters life so that both of you can fulfill the will of GOD. Brothers and sisters, you don’t fit everybody, anywhere, anytime.Not every sister you see in the road is your size. The girl you are running after now may be undersize, and thus you need to wait for God to give you your own size. Under size like an under size shoe pinches and such shoes can be removed due to discomfort but not marriage. Trust GOD to make a choice for you. Don’t let your heart move if it is not GOD that has moved in it.
It is not good for you to be alone, but if GOD has not said it specifically to you, it’s better to be alone. Some of you have entered into courtship too early because you chose yourself. As GOD said it to Adam, he has to say it to you specifically that it is not good for you to be alone because GODs time is the best time. Don’t let pressures push you. GOD has time for every one of us and it’s when GOD has said it’s not good for you to be alone, he will move and provide you your help meet but generally what happens is peer pressure that makes you want to be hooked to someone when GOD has not spoken.
You are not just brought together because it is the tradition to marry, it was a need in GODS heart that brought marriage to the fore, you also must identify the mandate on your lives for which GOD has provided your marriage to fulfill. Sister you need to recognize and discover GODS plan and expectation for the brother you have married or intend to marry and throw all you have physically and spiritually into laboring with him to accomplish it and form an unbreakable cord in spiritual warfare. Marriage is a relationship for a purpose and will of GOD for you; there is something GOD wants to do in your life and he needs your helpmeet(not help mate) to help you fulfil it. The grace of GOD in your life and spiritual gift GOD has given you may seem self sufficient just for you but that grace and gift has been tailor made to fit into someone’s life with whom you will be able to fulfill the purpose of GOD hence choice is critical. It is not just to see a man and say he is good. You need to ask what he is meant to achieve in life that I need to be a help meet for.
Only GOD has the dimension of your life in hand so when he makes a partner for you he does so with your dimension in mind and GOD is not only building the dimension for the present, he also knows the elastic limit; your expansion. When GOD is bringing you a wife he brings one with knowledge of your elastic limit. He knows this man will expand in future and will bring a woman that can expand with him so that as the man is growing, the wife is growing so that at every time it is fitting at almost every point ; if it fits now it will fit in 40 years time because of the elastic limit GOD has added. The unfortunate thing is this, people are only looking at who fits them now and don’t consider their elastic expansion. So when the years come and there is no fitting as one expands while the other doesn’t grow accordingly. When GOD makes he takes into consideration all the circumstances of your growth and challenges and all that will have ever happen, he puts them together. When GOD makes a woman for a woman GOD has put all the man will need in the womans life. There are some people that fit you today but in a few years they won’t fit you. The reason you need GOD to make the choice is because GOD makes our partners tailor made. When it comes to the matter of choice it is critical, don’t just choose based on feelings and physical attractions or financial benefits but let GOD choose for you. GOD bless you. This message is based on some of the teachings i have heard from brother gbile akanni and some of his books. Later i will be sharing some of the messages that can help us and my own personal testimony regarding this message i posted and the impact it has had on my life.
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